The Six Types Of People You'll Meet On A Hike

The Bear Grylls

You’re only 5 minutes into the hike and this guy has already killed three squirrels. With two episodes of man vs wild under their belt they think they’re ready to take on anything. It’s good to have some survival knowledge but signposted hikes in national parks don’t require this level of intensity.

The Tourist

You’ve already seen them five times on this trail. Are they following you? Identified by their friendliness and lack of personal boundaries, they often emerge from bushes to tell you about random things they have seen.

Wildlife pro

If you were stranded on a dessert island and could only take three things, this guy would be one of them. This former navy SEAL can make anything out of anything and regularly does. At some point during the hike they will disappear into the mountains and never be seen again.

The Instagrammer

This hiker walks a quarter of the trail, does a photo shoot and then heads back to the car. Characterised by their poor shoe choice, the Instagrammer has no intention of ever completing a hike, but they won't hesitate to share how #blessed they are to have spent five minutes in nature.

The trail runner

You’re approaching the summit, sweat pours off your face as you slowly climb to the peak. Suddenly your mental narrative is interrupted by the positive force of a trail runner. Wearing short shorts and a day pack they run past you shouting something about how much they love running up mountains. Surely no one is this happy about exercise.

All the gear, no idea

This hiker went to Go Outdoors and bought one of everything. They want to be outdoorsy but they just aren’t. After this hike, their equipment will retire to the loft where it will be forgotten about until the same time next year.